I’d like to apologise in advance if I seem a little subdued this evening, but when I received the WhatsApp message from my producer first thing this morning saying: “Remember, the Meghan and Harry documentary comes out today.
"We will need to cover, enjoy!" - followed by a winking face emoji - I wouldn’t say my heart leapt.
So today I have spent more time than I would have liked getting to know the real Harry and Meghan. Again. For those who missed the Oprah interview. So if i am a bit miffed, it’s because it bores me to tears giving these two air time.
Well for one thing, The Markles don’t really need to keep stabbing the monarchy in the front as they do in this documentary - gently, but persistently - as our own King Charles, doing his best Neville Chamberlain impression, seems to be appeasing this sacred 1000 year old institution into the ground all by himself with the way he is dealing with Marlene's entrapment of Lady Hussey and Lady Husseys subsequent, necessary and immediate sacrifice at the altar of white supremacy..
On the plus side, i do have to say the documentary is very well made.
"H” is engaging and much more relaxed in private than when he’s in public and one does feel for him in parts.
Meghan gives a masterpiece in how to gently undermine every custom Britain holds dear. They both do. Harry. Brexit. Racism. Really? Do better chap. As is always the case with these two, the conversation always turns to race, and once there, is unable to move on.
Meghan keeps going on about being black, which is so strange, because A - She isn’t. She is mixed race and B - she looks, to some people now too scared to ask where she’s from, like she comes from Spain or Italy That's the problem with all of this endless skin hue-ing. It invites division and the markle's are there to count the cash..
There is nothing more depressing than this never ending hand wringing about race and unconscious bias - Ghost hunting to you and me - that “so called” progressives are so keen on, especially seeing as the only open and acceptable form of racism permitted in the public sphere nowadays is against white people - who the documentary spends a good amount of time denigrating - via thoughtfully soft focussed, rather snide interjections from extremely high end race conjurors like David Olusuga and privately educated, supremely privileged Afua Hirsch.
These aren’t budget airline race baiters like Yasmin Alahibi brown or Doctor Shola on this gig. This is the real deal.
It is achingly slick as the piano mourns its accompaniment to the Markles everyday woes - and in many ways it does exactly the job it is trying to do.
Paint the two protagonists as victims, whose suffering is permanent and unbearable, and it is the British press and publics fault - because - yes you guessed it - once more for those at the back - you are all massive racists.
However, Spinning this Sussex yarn does require some careful omissions to keep the narrative on track. Allegations about Princess Diana being hounded to death by the paparazzi rather than killed at the hands of a drunk driver of the Mercedes she was so unfortunately travelling in, come early on, and there is no footage of the well wishers dozens deep offering their cheers at the wedding. Well at least not so far where I reached - before needing to take a breather.
I don't really have much else to say, other than I’ve had a few cameras shoved in my face over the years and yes it is unpleasant. I have also received horrible tweets and newspaper articles and people threatening to unload shotguns into my face, which wasn’t particularly enjoyable either, but this is the digital age and the Markles are not unique in suffering the downsides of what life in the public eye brings, much as Meghan protests they are.
Perhaps they would both benefit from developing a bit of a stiff upper lip and trying to find time to enjoy the great privileges this genuinely progressive world has afforded them, rather than unloading about the unbearable systemic oppression which weighs so heavily upon them - as they desperately try to lead a quiet private life in their 30 million dollar Montecito mansion in front of the eyes on millions on Netflix