TV presenter and model Vogue Williams has revealed she "thought her life was over" after divorcing Westlife singer Brian McFadden at the age of 31.
The Irish mother-of-three made the candid admission during an appearance on the Mail's "The Life of Bryony" podcast with columnist Bryony Gordon.
Now 39 and approaching her milestone 40th birthday, Williams reflected on her past relationship struggles and how she has since built a happy family life with Made in Chelsea star Spencer Matthews, 36.
The couple, who married in 2018, share three children together; Theodore, Gigi, and Otto.
The Irish mother-of-three made the candid admission during an appearance on the Mail's 'The Life of Bryony' podcast
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Williams recalled the emotional turmoil following her divorce in 2017, telling the podcast: "I remember being divorced at 31 and thinking, I've ruined my life. I am never going to have kids, I am never going to do what I always wanted to do."
Despite those earlier fears, the presenter now has a positive outlook on entering her fifth decade.
"I am excited at turning forty," she shared. "When you are 19 or 20, you think that forty-year-olds are really old and battered. Then you actually get there and you think, this is a really nice moment.
"In your thirties, you are still trying to figure stuff out... Then you see how your life actually starts to unfold - that's why it feels exciting to move into your forties."
In her forthcoming autobiography "Big Mouth," Williams details her ongoing struggles with anxiety that have affected her throughout adulthood.
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Williams and McFadden split in 2015
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Speaking candidly about managing the condition, she told Gordon: "It's this thing in your life that you wish would just go away. Sometimes it's fine, sometimes it's a lot worse."
The model explained her proactive approach to mental health: "When I wake up, I am really conscious of any mood I could be in. It's why I don't drink much now because that is something for me that is a huge trigger of anxiety."
Williams added that while she keeps beta-blockers available, she "rarely" takes them now, crediting her "great" and supportive family for helping her cope better.
Williams recounted her first meeting with Matthews, whom she affectionately refers to as her "little toy boy" due to their age difference.
"When I met Spencer, I knew I shouldn't go for him. I based that on what others had said about him. But, when you meet him, you're just drawn to him," she revealed.
Vogue Williams and Spencer Matthews tied the knot in 2018 PADespite initial reservations, she was won over by his personality: "You want to be in his company. He's funny, he's self-deprecating. Quite Irish in that sense."
The presenter admitted: "I didn't realise how young he was when we met - he's my little toy boy."
Despite her current happiness, Williams acknowledged that the "outside noise" surrounding her celebrity marriage can still affect her.
"We live in a world now where it's possible for literally any random person to get a thought in their head and spread it around," she explained.
The constant rumours take their toll, but the couple have developed a coping strategy: "Me and Spencer choose the route of just letting it go over our heads."
Williams remains focused on what truly matters: "There's always going to be people who spread gossip, you have to leave them to it. I have a great family, I am happy at the moment. I don't need to be worried about what anyone else is saying."
