Newcastle striker Callum Wilson has bravely revealed he contemplated suicide at the age of 12 during a difficult childhood, and how seeking therapy a year ago helped him overcome personal demons.
The 33-year-old England international made the revelation during Mental Health Awareness week, hoping his story would inspire others to seek help when needed.
Wilson, whose contract at Newcastle expires next month, opened up about his journey from a troubled childhood to professional football success.
The father-of-two forward bared all about growing up in Coventry as one of six children with a single mother and having a different father to his siblings.
Newcastle striker Callum Wilson has bravely revealed he contemplated suicide at the age of 12 during a difficult childhood, and how seeking therapy a year ago helped him overcome personal demons
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Wilson spent time in foster care and regularly relied on food banks while also staying in safe houses after witnessing domestic violence at home.
“I cried myself to sleep at night. I got to about 12, 13 - it was like suicidal moments," he told the High Performance podcast.
"When I say I cried myself to sleep, I was just praying to God like 'take me out of this environment, I want to become a footballer'.”
He added: "It was my mum on her own, all my siblings in the house. We had a three bedroom council house. Food was sparing to come by. That, along with a bit of turmoil."
Newcastle could see Callum Wilson leave the club this summer
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The former Bournemouth marksman described the depths of his despair during those early years, revealing the extent of his suicidal thoughts.
"I've walked alongside the train track and was building up the courage to jump basically in front of the train. I've tied cables around my bedroom rail and my PlayStation remote controller to see if it was strong enough to hold my weight," he admitted.
"Football really was my saviour, it was my escape.
"I probably have a lot of aggression from that point, but football was a place that I could be aggressive in my position on the pitch and it would be okay."
Despite his success on the pitch, Wilson admitted that in recent years he had started to become more aggressive.
A Newcastle physio spotted that Wilson needed help and encouraged him to seek therapy, which proved transformative.
"Once I started speaking, and revealed everything I've been through in life, she was like 'Wow, how have you got to this point already without not seeing a therapist?'" Wilson said.
The striker described his first therapy session as feeling "like a weight was lifted".
Wilson explained how therapy helped him maintain boundaries in his personal relationships.
"I speak to my wife about it, but I didn't want to blur the lines with our relationship. She's not my therapist, she's my wife and the mother of my children, so I didn't want to burden her with problems," he said.
"You can speak to a therapist and it does feel a sense of relief afterwards. It's an investment in yourself and more than worth it. I'm really happy."
Wilson appeared to wave goodbye to Newcastle with a tearful solo lap of honour round St. James' Park after the Magpies secured Champions League qualification on Sunday.
Callum Wilson has scored 49 goals for Newcastle
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However, Toon manager Eddie Howe has refused to rule out a potential stay for the striker.
"Let's wait and see. We're going to sit down and talk with his representatives," Howe said.
"What I can say is Callum Wilson is and has been just an incredible footballer for Newcastle. Someone who epitomises the spirit that's got us to where we are really professional. Brave."
Anyone who is in emotional distress, struggling to cope or at risk of suicide can call the Samaritans anonymously for free from a UK phone on 116 123 or go to samaritans.org.
