Bukayo Saka said he faced the darkest moment of his career lying in a hospital bed on Christmas Eve, wrestling with doubts about whether he would ever be the same player again.
The Arsenal and England star had just undergone hamstring surgery at 5am that morning, having made the decision on the spot to ensure his surgeon could spend Christmas Day with family.
Saka revealed: "The first two days were the toughest - that realisation that I've got what I've got and I need an operation. You start to think am I going to be the same?"
The 23-year-old's fears were not unfounded.
Bukayo Saka suffered the injury against Cystal Palace in late December
Getty
"Players have come back from this injury and weren't the same," he added.
The injury had struck three days before Christmas during Arsenal's 5-1 victory at Crystal Palace, forcing an agonising decision about surgery timing.
"It was horrible. Normally, you get more time to make a decision," he recalled.
"But it was going to be Christmas, the surgeons want to be with their families, so I decided on the spot that we were doing the surgery."
Despite the early morning procedure, he made it home by mid-afternoon, spending Christmas Day at his cousin's house in a large brace and on crutches, with his new cockapoo puppy Tucker arriving later that day.
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"You are on crutches, in hospital and need help around the house for the first few weeks," he recalled of those difficult early days.
During his rehabilitation, Arsenal assistant coach Carlos Cuesta recommended a book that would transform Saka's recovery journey: "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.
The book's message resonated deeply as he battled self-doubt.
"It's about not thinking about the past, not thinking about the future - just being in the moment and always asking yourself what's necessary right now," he explained.
"Sometimes I can think am I going to come back in the best shape? Or what could I have done to prevent injury? But all that is not necessary.
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"It's only going to bring bad energy, negativity to your body.
"One of the best things I took from the book is to always ask yourself what's necessary in this moment and try to live that way."
The enforced break gave Saka unexpected perspective on his life beyond football.
He reflected: "I had gone from five years straight playing football, either involved with the team every single day training or playing games. Everything stops.
"I got to spend more time with my family and got to do little things around the house that I wouldn't have even paid attention to when I was playing."
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Bukayo Saka had a mixed year with Arsenal with injuries hampering his form
ReutersHis return in early April thrust him straight into Arsenal's Champions League campaign, which ended in semi-final defeat to Paris Saint-Germain.
"There was no time to ease in, it was straight into big games. We fell short. It is what it is now but there is no point looking back now," he said.
Saka featured in every game for Arsenal following his return from injury, with some fans criticising Arsenal boss Mikel Arteta for overplaying the 23-year-old.
Saka now looks ahead to his potential first appearance under new England manager Thomas Tuchel, who has impressed the winger with his contrasting approach: "Since I've come into the camp, he's been quite demanding, quite intense on the pitch. Off the pitch, he's more relaxed, a nice guy. He lets us enjoy ourselves and has created a nice environment."
The German's appointment brings renewed focus on England's World Cup ambitions after recent near-misses.
Tuchel has won his first three matches without conceding, though performances have sometimes underwhelmed.
"In the bigger games everyone is going to give a bit more. In these other games we need to find a level where we can maintain that same quality and drive," he said.
"The expectation is to win, rather than entertain."
England recently ran out 1-0 victors during a lacklustre performance against Andorra in Spain, but Saka missed out after recovering from discomfort.
It is yet to be seen whether Saka will feature in England's friendly on Tuesday against Senegal, but they will be hoping for a much improved performance.
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