The thing about big numbers is that they’re hard to visualise. Take £140billion. That would be enough to build 280 new hospitals, give every UK family a free electric car, or buy Ethiopia. It would also cover the price tags for 10,000 tropical islands or pay for 46,000 private performances by Beyonce.
Even billion-pound coins are difficult to imagine. It would take you 30 years to count them, and you might struggle to find somewhere to put them while you do as they would weigh the equivalent of 1,250 fully grown African elephants.
If you have 140 billion of them and lay them end to end, they would stretch to the Moon and back. Twice. At a more down-to-earth level, £140billion would buy 14 Dreadnought-class nuclear submarines to beetle about with a sackful of Trident warheads - each packed with four Hiroshimas worth of explosive power.
And it is there where some of this money is likely to end up. To replace our four Vanguard subs now approaching their use-by date.
It will cost £140billion to raise the defence budget to five per cent of GDP, as NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte and Donald Trump want us to do.
That would more than double existing defence spending, and outstrip everything the UK splashes on education. But finding that money must give Rachel Reeves nightmares.
The Chancellor’s spending review is packed with plenty more astronomical figures to leave our heads spinning. But it’s worth remembering the government doesn’t have any money - it’s our money she’s giving away.
Which means we have every right to scrutinise and criticise how it is spent. And in advance of this review, everyone who hoped to benefit - or lose out - pitched in with their tuppence worth.
The Chancellor will leave your head spinning today. But don't be fooled by the figures — Nigel NelsonGetty Images
The police claimed they could no longer fight crime unless they got a big uplift, while London mayor Sadiq Khan moaned the capital was being shortchanged so West Yorkshire could have more trains and Birmingham a better metro.
Health is the big winner, which was why I was a bit miffed when the doctors’ union - the British Medical Association - began prattling on about ruining it by bringing their members out on strike.
Junior doctors, now called resident doctors to make them sound more grown up, have already got a 22 per cent raise over 24 months from Health Secretary Wes Streeting to make up for the way their salaries had fallen behind.I supported their industrial action last year. But now I’m not so sure. Number crunchers at the Nuffield Trust reckon the BMA’s figures to justify pay hikes look a little iffy.
The Trust says the BMA cites RPI for the measure of inflation because it makes doc pay look worse, despite CPI being the officially used calculation. And the BMA wants to compare figures from 2008.
Nuffield pointy-heads say dating pay progress from then shows a fall of 4.7 per cent. But if you took it from 2015,v there’s a 7.9 per cent increase.I have nothing against unions trying to get the best deal for their members. That’s why they’re there. But they must demonstrate genuine injustice if they want public backing.
How Ms Reeves will replenish the money she is spending will not come until the Autumn budget, but there are some groups, such as the organisation Patriotic Millionaires, begging her to take their cash.A new Survation poll of the 20,000 fat cats worth more than £10million, shows that 85 per cent of them would welcome a two per cent wealth tax on their wonga.
Entrepreneur Gio Notarbartolo said: “Contrary to common perception, many wealthy individuals - including former non-doms like myself - are ready and willing to contribute more to public services.
“We recognise that a strong, stable country benefits everyone, including those with significant means.”
You may be a touch sceptical about such displays of public spiritedness. Ms Reeves may indeed be, too.
But she could at least ask, couldn’t she? Patriotic Millionaires reckon it would be worth £24billion to her. That’s enough pound coins to stretch all the way to the Moon - but, I'm sorry to say, not quite enough to stretch all the way back.
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