For an industry that demands absolute loyalty, Westminster is rammed to the gunwales with famously disloyal opportunists. As Austen almost said, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a generic politician of middling aptitude must be in want of a fast route to success.
So it is with Robert Jenrick, who had neither patience nor loyalty, and as such is now a liability to whatever party he may attach himself to. Farage seems to be wavering in his decision to have him in Reform.
Based on his statements today, we certainly don’t want him anymore, so where has his plotting got him? A lonely life as an independent, with no association support, no party machine behind him, a failed leadership contender with a failed attempt at subterfuge.
There’s nothing the Westminster village loves more than a foiled plot made public, and while the public despises this about us, I would ask, are things any different in your industry?
Do you not gossip wildly about who said what to whom when HR sacks a longstanding colleague? So, judge us if you will, but the memes are outstanding, the TUC are tweeting to ask if Jenrick needs a union rep, and the idiocy of leaving documents in photocopiers is being howled at across multiple WhatsApp groups.
But what of the longer-term impact? Labour will crow that this is yet more proof that Reform are just the rejects of the Conservative Party, causing Farage to continue dropping hints that Reform have a major Labour defection coming.
The lack of one so far is beginning to damage his credibility, and that failure to appeal across the divide may be behind their recent poll slump in Wales, a key battleground for Farage in May. The announcement that Reform’s leader in Scotland will be another ex-Tory would seem to be further proof of this.
Kneecapping Robert Jenrick just made Kemi Badenoch's job a lot easier - Lauren McEvatt | Getty Images
What of the Conservatives? It would be churlish to say that Jenrick isn’t a loss to our front bench; he is. He was a good media performer with a slick front bench operation.
But there are others who will take his place; he wasn’t so overwhelmingly talented as to be irreplaceable entirely. Indeed, the bile he was planning to unleash about his now former colleagues on the way out the door would indicate that he was not quite the collegiate chum many of them had considered him to be.
His continued positioning as a future contender to replace Badenoch was grating but manageable as her performance continued to improve, yet while he remained on the front bench, he lurked, like Banquo’s ghost, an eternal sword of Damocles over Badenoch's head.
Kneecapping him as soon as his treachery became unavoidably apparent was the wise thing to do; it sends a strong message to others that disloyalty will not be tolerated and harks back to the lessons the chief whips of old used to dole out to uppity newbies; you appear to think the party owes you something. You owe the party everything, for you would not be in this place without us.
I suspect this sacking may result in a circling of the Conservative wagons in Westminster, and a reminder to others that we are all, ultimately, replaceable.
The Conservative Party is the oldest party in the world, and those of us who would go down with the ship if it comes to it will stay and fight to avoid that outcome. Losing the traitors along the way makes our job easier, not harder.
Whether the electorate views this positively for Badenoch very much remains to be seen, but her stock has risen in Westminster today.