Reshuffles. Those futile “reset” gestures are intended to draw a line under failure. Keir Starmer was supposed to do just that. But rarely does a reshuffle “reset” anything.
What this one has done is underline a bitter truth: the very people causing Britain’s gravest problems are untouchable. Starmer has not let a good crisis go to waste. Moving Yvette “Record Small Boats” Cooper out of the Home Office makes sense.
Certainly, her replacing David “World's Worst Diplomat” Lammy in the Foreign Office is an upgrade, as he is demoted with the consolation prize of Deputy PM (at least PMQs when Starmer is away will be something to look forward to).
Moving Shabana “Next lamb into the Home Office grinder” Mahmood might well signal an intention to get tough on immigration - but that career-breaking department will probably chew her up as it does most people.
The most sensible move is Pat McFadden, an effective minister, going to Work and Pensions to wrestle with the unfunded welfare bill: a sign of things to come - if he can somehow drag Labour’s utterly unrealistic backbenchers into the real world.
But Starmer has still failed to make the changes that Britain really needs. Rachel “Utterly Out of Her Depth” Reeves remains in place for one reason only: because Starmer knows that if he sacks his Chancellor, he will be next. Her obvious incompetence on the economy is indulged because the Treasury holds the keys to Downing Street itself.
Keir Starmer’s reshuffle leaves Britain’s worst problems in the worst hands - Robert Courts
|Getty Images
“Red Ed” Miliband stays too, because Starmer needs to appease the left-wing urban liberals who make up what’s left of Labour’s activist (and, increasingly, voter) base.
Yet Miliband’s survival is a major strategic political failure. His obsession with Net Zero at any cost has driven up household bills, throttled investment in North Sea energy, and left Britain’s manufacturing base teetering.
Ofgem has already confirmed that its “policy costs” are pushing the price cap higher than forecast, while its windfall tax extension has collapsed investor confidence.
Miliband is responsible for self-inflicted sabotage: jobs lost, bills rising, and strategic advantage handed to rivals abroad. And yet, Starmer has left him in post – because he has no choice.
With a damaging Labour Deputy Leader election in the offing in which Starmer is caught between the far left and the Gaza lobby, he cannot afford to sacrifice a totemic figure of the Labour left. Yet, this short-term political fix will cost in the long term, because "net zero” is one of the two battlegrounds on which the next election will be fought.
If Starmer is pivoting to fight Reform, he has only barely started the turn. But above all comes Hermer. I’ve written before not just about his malign influence on government policy - exhibit one, the Chagos Islands surrender - but about his stranglehold on it. As Attorney General, he has turned legal caution into paralysis.
As a former Solicitor General, I know how much steadiness, clarity – and understanding of the limitations of your own role - that position demands.
Ministers don’t get any of that from Hermer: they get a veto. Entire programmes are throttled before they leave the drawing board, because Hermer’s word is treated as law.
That’s not how our constitution is meant to work. Legal advisers advise. Elected politicians decide. Yet Starmer clings to him because he is as close to Starmer’s political project as his own heartbeat. Starmer is Hermer - Hermer is Starmer is St Hermer. This isn’t just an undefused constitutional time-bomb.
It's something that matters to the everyday lives of people because Britain needs ministers who will govern boldly, not hide behind a silk’s opinion drafted with the intention of replacing the Rule of Law with the Rule of Lawyers.
So, we are left with a great irony. Starmer sells a reset, but the worst offenders - the blockers, the wreckers, the ideologues - remain at the top table. The people responsible for Britain’s biggest problems are the very ones Labour dares do not touch.
This isn’t about personalities. It’s about outcomes. We have an economy stalling under Reeves. Energy policy bleeding red-green ink under Miliband. Government paralysed by Hermer’s suffocating legalism.
None of these problems can be fixed by the people who caused them. But those are precisely the people Starmer has kept in post.
Reshuffles are necessary in the Government because it is the only way to keep your MPs in order. But they’re rarely actually helpful because you create more embittered enemies than grateful friends. So, it is critical that they show grip and direction.
This one just signals weakness. Britain is stuck with a government unable to change course because the captain cannot sack the crew.
Starmer’s reshuffle was billed as a reboot. It is, in fact, proof that the machine cannot be rebooted. The corrosion in the hard drive is shot all the way through, and it’s here to stay.