Woman tries to leave husband after he wants his mother with dementia to move in  - and others agree

Woman angry with husband

The woman shared her concerns

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Sarra Gray

By Sarra Gray


Published: 13/09/2023

- 16:35

Updated: 13/09/2023

- 16:38

A woman has asked people on Reddit for their opinion as her husband wants his mother to move in

In a recent Reddit post, one woman shared her story as her husband wanted to move his mum into their home.

She asked for advice as her mother-in-law was recently diagnosed with dementia.


The Reddit user shared concerns that her husband would become consumed with caring for his mother.

Still in their 20s, she explained she was worried her mother-in-law could end up living with them for up to "20 years".

Woman with dementia

She said her mother-in-law was recently diagnosed with dementia

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Reddit user 'WranglerFar644' took to the anonymous social platform to ask for advice and explained she had thought of "leaving her husband".

She asked others if she was in the wrong for her views.

The user wrote: "My MIL (mother-in-law) does not have much to her name, and both my husband and I do very well for ourselves, my husband wishes to have his mother move in with us, and I am against it.

"While harsh I did not sign up to share a home with either of our parents. I have no desire to become a caregiver, and I want to have children someday. Raising a child while living with someone with dementia sounds like h*ll."

She added: "If we place his mother he will be so focused on her that I will become an afterthought.

"I know this makes me sound petty and jealous, but I cannot keep up with his mother. His focus will be on her and rightfully so."

The worried wife said she thought it could be the breakdown of her marriage as her husband would stretch himself too thin.

She explained her family and husband thought she was being unreasonable and were "disappointed" in her concerns.

Other social media users pitched in to offer their support, with the post gathering nearly 4,000 comments. Many sympathised with the difficulties of looking after someone with dementia and how it could become a full time job.

One wrote: "My dad had Alzheimer’s. During the last few years of his life, there was no safe way for my mum to care for him. It would have required her to be awake and alert 24 hours a day."

They added a nursing home was the "only safe option" for their dad.

Woman caring for old woman

The Reddit user thought her mother-in-law would need too much care

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Another showed their support and said: "It is physically impossible for a single person to be a 24-hour caregiver in late stage dementia."

One more agreed, writing: "After nearly five years of trying to care for her and only getting a break when I went to work, we had to make the decision to place her in a nursing home.

"It takes a tremendous amount of emotional effort to care for someone with dementia. Meltdowns and bouts of anger/rage are very common in dementia patients and there’s only so much one person can handle."

Symptoms of dementia are more likely to appear in those over the age of 75.

A new study showed bad cholesterol could increase the chances of developing Alzheimer’s disease and Alzheimer’s disease related dementias.

Common deficiencies such as lack of vitamin D during menopause can also make the illness more likely in women.

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