Here we are again…. It is that time of year, which seems to descend on us earlier and earlier. As soon as the schools return after the Summer break, the Christmas promotion begins.
For many, if not all of us, the last few months have seen us bombarded by images of big happy Christmas gatherings, dinners and beautifully wrapped gifts, and with it comes the pressure to have the perfect Christmas…. Whatever perfect is!!!
While many may be enjoying the lead-up and the big day itself with friends and loved ones, there are, however, many people who are lonely at Christmas, with statistics showing as many as 25 per cent are entirely on their own over the Christmas period.
A poll I conducted of 750 people on Instagram also saw 35 per cent admit to being fearful that they will be lonely this year.
'Loneliness is often a hidden issue during the festive season'
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Loneliness is a silent but significant, often hidden issue during Christmas affecting people of all ages, social backgrounds, ethnicity and sexuality.
With the technology-fuelled world evolving and changing quicker than we can keep up, human interaction is becoming less and less, so if you or you know anyone who is worrying about being alone over this Christmas period, I have put together some gentle, practical ways to cope, remembering to always do what is right for you at a level that you can cope with.
1. Accept and acknowledge how you feel; it is ok if you do not feel ‘merry and bright’ if you are not. If you have someone you can share these feelings with, then talk to them. If not, saying out loud, ‘I am feeling disconnected at the moment,’ can help to take the edge off the actual feeling.
2. Limit social media and comparisons: Scrolling through perfect images of the perfect day can often make you feel worse.
Mute, unfollow or block things that have a negative impact on you, remembering nothing is as it seems! Take everything at your pace and what you can handle.
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3. Do something kind for someone else: Kindness can be infectious and change not only how you feel but the receiver, whether it be leaving a nice comment, donating to a food bank or volunteering, can all shift attention outward, giving you a sense of purpose and inward glow.
4. Create your own special Christmas ritual: Taylor the day to you, whether it be a special movie, yummy breakfast, lighting a candle or playing your favourite music, YOUR Christmas does not have to look like everyone else’s. Do what is right for you.
5. Join an online group: Many charities and forums have Christmas day chats, livestreams, game communities and support groups, where people come together to spend the day together online.
6. Treat the Day normally: There is nothing to say that you have to celebrate. If you would prefer to rest, read, watch films, clean the house or go for a walk, like every other day, then do it!
We are often conditioned to follow what everyone else is doing, but it is ok to do you and be you.
'Take everything at your pace'
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I work alongside 2 wonderful charities The Chatty Café and The Marmalade Trust, both of which can share details of face-to-face in-person get-togethers all over the UK for people who feel they need the human connection, so please do look them up.
Lynn Crilly is a counsellor and wellbeing expert. For more information visit www.lynncrilly.com.
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