Twas the night before Christmas with a twist, reads Alex Armstrong

Labour HQ was silent and stark, its Keir turned to Rachel and tried to remark.

'Oh, Rachel,' cried Keir, 'what on Earth shall we do?

'The Grinch, Nigel Farage, stole Christmas and all our voters too!'

Rachel turned around and simply replied: 'They taxed, then they spent, then they promised some more. Each Budget a riddle, each answer a chore.

The country cried, "Stop! We’re stretched to the core!" But Rachel replied, 'That’s just what you’re for.'

'Oh, Ed,' muttered Keir, 'you swore costs would fall, but families feel poorer, not greener at all.'

'And Shabana, you too could not stop the boats' as Keir fretted deeply over these notes.

'Britain’s borders are lost,' Kim muttered in pain.

'The boats keep on coming, only stopped by the rain'.

While Lammy lost prisoners like gifts gone astray, Keir asked, 'How did this happen? What can we say?'

Lammy replied with a wry, knowing grin: 'My tough new rules were the best I could pin.'

And there was Angela Rayner, mischief in tow, kicked out of office, and nowhere to go.

'I’ll look at the polls and decide to stand, I’d make a good Prime Minister—the most working-class in the land.'

While Keir looked around with a worried old glance, he saw every policy losing its chance

He turned to his team: 'We’re adrift in the storm. We’ve lost all the voters, and now that’s the norm.'

The folks rolled their eyes as policies shifted, like quick-changing skies, from energy mishaps to taxes turned twisted. The voters all chuckled: 'There goes all our money!'

And there stood the Grinch, Nigel Farage, with a smirk, watching the chaos and loving his work.

He didn’t need polls to give them a fright, just a chuckle and a wave as they screamed, 'You’re far right!'

But fear not, Britain. Remember your name, forged in resolve, not comfort or claim.

Do not fret, this moment will pass. We’ve stood through harder trials than this political class.

Through war, through ruin, through doubt and despair, Britain always endures, rebuilds, and repairs.

When leaders falter, and courage runs thin, Britain stands firm by the will from within.

Whatever the road, whatever comes next, from all of us here at GB News: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Great Britain. Good night, and God bless.

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