You’re probably not losing too much sleep over Labour’s deputy leadership election. Not unless you are Keir Starmer that is.
For the PM, this is his worst nightmare, and he’ll only get some shuteye if his personal choice, Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson, is the only one left standing when nominations close today at 5 pm.
But at the time of writing, it appears to be a two-horse race between Ms Phillipson and former Commons leader Lucy Powell. Ms Phillipson is already over the line with the support of 116 MPs.
And Ms Powell is only three MPs away from the 80 needed to qualify for the contest. A flurry of late nominations could even see a third candidate.
Either way, that means there will be an election. Elections are always bitter, and the only way to win over Labour’s 300,000 disgruntled members who make the final choice is to be critical of Starmer's Government.
The Education Secretary can hardly do that as she’s part of it, so she is already fighting with one hand tied behind her back, and the PM might be regretting firing Ms Powell because that’s given her two fists to punch with.
This is also a proxy war between Manchester Mayor Andy Burnham and the PM for an eventual leadership tussle. Powell is seen as Burnham’s woman.
Former Home Secretary Lord David Blunkett - he of the Labrador guide dog Barley, who has just joined the GMB union with membership number K900000 - reckons there shouldn’t be an election at all.
The only person losing sleep over Labour’s deputy leadership election is Keir Starmer - Nigel Nelson | Getty Images
He told the BBC: “I did ring up people and say, ‘couldn’t we get out of this? Can’t we actually postpone?’ I suggested suspending the deputy leadership campaign for a full review of what the post is all about when we’re in government.”
Which just shows what an inconvenient business democracy can be. But the PM has had enough accusations of being too authoritarian lately without turning his premiership into a dictatorship.
But now the party conference in Liverpool, in which he was hoping to put flesh on the bones of his next phase of government, will be overshadowed by the infighting.
These things rarely go as planned. When Ed Miliband quit as Labour leader in 2015 after David Cameron’s win, the contest to replace him looked like a battle between Andy Burnham and Yvette Cooper.
Then Jeremy Corbyn entered the fray - or rather was entered by well-meaning moderate MPs who reckoned democracy required a leftie on the slate. They were confident he could never win. So was I. We had a slightly fractious meeting in which Jeremy was grumpy and uncooperative, which convinced me even more. But I became very fond of him as the years rolled on and still am.
He was shabbily treated by the Labour Party, and it served them right when he won Islington North, the seat he’d served for 42 years, as an independent.
It was only when a canny Labour MP whispered in my ear that Jeremy had Momentum behind him, which gave him...well...momentum, that I began to revise my opinion.
This was a network of local activist groups skilfully organised by GB News contributor James Schneider, and whose influence had been underestimated in Westminster. Jezza got the leadership, did well at the snap 2017 election and then took Labour to its worst defeat since 1935 two years later. Britain roundly rejected his brand of socialism.
But the fact that he was able to lead Labour at all shows that the unexpected should always be expected in politics.
Keir Starmer knows that. But it doesn’t mean he welcomes it.