Five years of Keir Starmer means five years of more of woke hell, says Mark Dolan

We now live in an upside-down, topsy-turvy world, where north is south and south is north. Where a man is a woman, a woman is a man, where printing money doesn't cause inflation - it does - and where a Labour government is the answer to Britain’s problems.

Sir Keir Starmer has outlined his so-called five point mission, presumably to rival Rishi Sunak's five-point plan.

They are to secure the highest sustained growth in the G7, build an NHS fit for the future, make Britain's streets safe, break down the barriers to opportunity at every stage and make Britain a clean energy superpower

Sounds lovely.

But how is Keir Starmer possibly the answer to our economic issues, given that he will likely yield to public sector workers on strike, and their inflation busting pay demands.

And how will he tackle our eye-watering national debt, fuelled by the lockdowns - of which he was such a big fan - by borrowing further billions to splash the cash in the public sector. Which he will be expected to do, if he reaches number 10.

How is Keir Starmer the answer to our policing problems, given that statistics covering the year to September 2022 show that in England and Wales there was an average of 1.2 robbery offences per 1,000 people in areas controlled by Labour Police and crime commissioners, roughly double that of other areas, which showing 0.6 robbery offences per 1000 people.

Do you think Keir Starmer, the most woke politician in the country, who will seize any opportunity to signal his virtue, will crack down on woke, policing, in which cops spend more time, turning up at peoples houses for an offensive Facebook post than address real crime?

Keir Starmer's 'five missions' have been dubbed 'mission impossible' by Mark Dolan
Peter Byrne

Presumably his plan for the NHS is to pump more billions into this financial black hole, which is getting more expensive by the day, and delivering a worse service?

Will Sir Keir Starmer get rid of some of the three and a half thousand middle managers on six-figure salaries, currently employed by the health service?

Will he get rid of the diversity officers, for what is the most diverse employer in the world?

Good luck with that. He said he's going to break down, barriers to opportunity at every stage. A pledge vaguer than the details of Nadhim Zahawi's tax return.

And then there's the environment. Now, I want to clean up the planet as much as anyone, but Starmer wants to clean out the nation's coffers, with an expensive plan to get Britain carbon neutral by 2030.

Insulating millions of homes, rolling out an electric infrastructure and betting the house on green energy.

Laudable though it may sound, and I do believe in home insulation, this radical push to go green - as countries like China and America continue to pollute like fun - is an expensive experiment.

Particularly given that Starmer is going to create a terrifying 1970s style, state-owned energy company, investing our borrowed billions in flaky renewables. Yikes.

We're not just living in an upside-down, topsy-turvy world. The cervix-free leader of the opposition is topsy-turvy too, banging on about defending women's rights, whilst taking the knee to so-called gender ideology, which challenges the very idea of biological sex.

Remember, he can't even say what a woman is, even though he's married to one. Five years of Keir Starmer means five years of more of woke hell.

And Starmer is pretty upside down and topsy-turvy when it comes to magic grandpa himself, former labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn.

Previously campaigning for him to be prime minister – on record as saying he would be a great prime minister, whilst now evicting the same man - who hasn't said anything different from what he has said before - from the party.

Jeremy Corbyn, as prime minister, would have been a national security and economic disaster for the country.

Starmer campaigned for him to get the top job. He was an enabler if you like. An accomplice.

Now Starmer is campaigning for the same man to be chucked out of the party.

Doesn't show great judgement does it? He's topsy-turvy on nationalisation of our industries - which he wanted when he ran for the leadership - but which he now doesn't. Don't get me wrong, the Tories are disastrous.

But they’ve finally got somebody sensible in charge.

It's not a great choice, but if it is a choice between Sunak and Starmer, I'll take Sunak all day long, with his plan to stop the boats – which Starmer doesn't even mention – halve inflation and tackle our horrific debt.

I think Sunak's five point plan is more in tune with what the people of Britain want. Give me five. Meanwhile, Keir Starmer thinks his plan is the fab five. I beg to differ. Starmer’s so-called five missions, are all Mission Impossible.