If the countryside has a problem, it’s not that it’s too white, but it’s too green.
That grass is soooooo racist. To the point that despite the roads taking us into the nation’s heartland being available to all, ethnic minorities say they feel unwanted.
No signs in Pashtun, none of their foods on sale in the tea rooms and a shocking drinking culture in pubs. Heaven forbid.
That you would have thought, was their loss. Wrong. Up steps the blob from the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) to explain that diversity is coming down your country lanes whether you like it or not.
So, what is the problem? Not enough people of colour are taking a day trip out, and a Defra report says the countryside is in danger of becoming ‘’ irrelevant in a multicultural society’’.
That is tosh. The reality is that 80 per cent of the nation live and work in cities and urban sprawl, and the vast majority, black or white, can’t be bothered to make our way to the countryside after a week of hard work.
Those who do spend their time in the countryside actually live there and work locally. And they are white. Have been for centuries. Nothing attracts them to the ‘’smoke’’.
But when minorities arrive in our land, they go where the work is and where people who look like them have chosen to live. And that’s called a city.
I don’t see Defra having a campaign to encourage country folk to visit Bradford, Luton or Tower Hamlets. And if they did, they would be the subject of ridicule. As should this campaign.
This nationwide drive to make the countryside less white is based on an absurd pack of lies — Kelvin MacKenzie | Getty Images
As I write, officials in rural areas, including the Chilterns and the Cotswolds, are beavering away to attract more minorities under the Defra plan.
There’s an outfit called the Chiltern National Landscape team (I’d love to know who pays for them) that has set out proposals, including community schemes to attract more Muslims in the area, particularly from nearby Luton.
In my time, Luton has gone down the pan so you would have thought if the followers of Islam wanted to discover the joys of Great Missenden or Henley-on-Thames, they would already have done so.
The Chiltern mob also intend to recruit more diverse staff. I would have thought that was illegal, but I’m sure there is a workaround. They will produce marketing material featuring people from ‘’visible ethnic minorities" and written in ‘’community language’’.
Research has been commissioned to support this work, some of which suggested that dogs should be kept under control as Muslims are scared of them. Mmmm
Potter over to the Malvern Hills Landscape people, and they have a different theory. They say minorities have no connection with nature because their parents and grandparents didn’t feel safe enough to take them
More nonsense from the nonsense factory. Families, white or black, were working damned hard to make money.
Shopping on Saturday, seeing friends on Saturday night and popping over to other members of the family on Sunday. It’s the same for everybody.
Any spare time is spent watching Netflix. Had nothing whatsoever to do with the countryside being unfriendly.
I urge you to take a couple of blood pressure tablets before reading on. In one Defra report it said there was concern that rural facilities ‘’cater to white English culture’’.
The countryside was “said to be closely associated’’ with ‘’traditional pubs’’, which have limited food options and people who have a drinking culture.’’ Quite right. That’s the whole point of a pub.
If you want water, stay home in the kitchen.
The report said, accordingly, Muslims from the Pakistani and Bangladeshi groups said this contributed to a feeling of being "unwelcome". What an absurd argument.
Pubs have been part of the British landscape for hundreds of years, while migrant Muslims have only just arrived. If that really is a problem, they should stay away.
Personally, I like the country pub, and so does the white majority.
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