Not surprising that I don’t feel warm towards Keir Starmer’s United Kingdom, as having spent the last six weeks criss-crossing sun-drenched Australia (temps between 24-31 degrees Celsius) I return home to discover my boiler hadn’t been working and the average temp in the house is seven degrees Celsius.
That’s colder than HMRC’s view of Angela Rayner.
Difficult to compare the UK with Oz, but I can say without hesitation that given half the chance and being under 30, I would pack my bags tonight, text the family a fond goodbye and head for Brisbane, the state capital of wonderful, Conservative-run Queensland.
I loved the country. Loved the people. I couldn’t count the number of times I turned to my family and said, after a piece of helpfulness from a local, “That would never have happened back home”.
As I write, I see that the Times is predicting unemployment here will rise to 5.5 per cent this year, higher than the pandemic and higher than at any time since 2015. It’s even worse for the 18-24 year olds, where it’s running at more than twice that number.
While we are laying off everybody who is not nailed to the floor and then blaming AI, Australia is crying out for workers.
At the very minimum, they need truckers, nurses, electricians, plumbers and with the Olympics coming to Brisbane in 2032, any employee with transferable building skills.
My journey across OZ took me to Perth, Melbourne, Noosa, Byron Bay and Brisbane (twice), but it was a couple of conversations with Uber drivers that told me most about the nation. The first was with an Indian chap who had come with his family from Dubai.
His wife had a good job as a senior nurse (she worked seven days on for 12 hours and then seven days off), and so he had to find work that fitted in with looking after his two young children.
They weren’t happy with the local school, so they were prepared to make a huge financial sacrifice to send their kids to a private school. I can’t believe there are many Uber drivers in the UK who would do that – or could afford it.
I looked it up, and you will not be surprised to learn that there is no VAT on school fees in Australia. I read in the Mail on Sunday yesterday that due to Starmer’s class war, the imposition of VAT had led to 167 private schools shutting.
A short Uber drive more than 10,000 miles away confirmed Kelvin MacKenzie's very worst fears about Britain | Getty ImagesThe driver told me he had relatives in Birmingham. I told him he had made much the better decision to make his home in Australia rather than Muslim-dominated Brum, where it’s considered so dangerous for Jews that the police barred Israeli fans from coming to watch their team, Aston Villa. A new low.
That decision was an absolute disgrace, and I trust West Midlands Chief Constable Craig Guilford is torn apart when he appears before a Commons Select committee tomorrow.
The second Uber chat came in Perth, where the driver revealed that he had come from Afghanistan in 2009 and a few years later had purchased a house in the suburb of Woodbridge, which had tripled in value. He described Australia as ‘’paradise’’. He literally used that word.
There are a number of adjectives you can use about the United Kingdom, but I can’t imagine ‘’paradise’’ is among them.
Clearly, it’s not all sunshine out there, but economists expect growth of 2.50-2.75 per cent this year, while we will be lucky to limp in with one per cent - and seven per cent of that will be supplied by government spending supplied through your extra taxation.
It will be our money, being switched from one pocket to another. There will be no increase in wealth.
So, I’m too old to move, but I urge you to encourage your children and grandchildren to make the move.
Maybe they will miss their family and friends and want to return after a few years. That’s fine, as it will then be 2029, and the General Election will mean the nightmare of Socialism will be over.
As I toured Australia, there was a ubiquitous anti-litter sign which caused much mirth. It read: ‘’Don’t be a tosser.’’
The nation is so clean that I thought we should adopt that slogan. I would bring it back to the UK and hang it up outside No.10