Jeremy Clarkson has disclosed elaborate arrangements he has planned for his death as the presenter expressed his fury over Labour's inheritance tax reforms.
The 65-year-old stated that mourners at his funeral will be subjected to the full 23 minutes of Supper's Ready, the 1972 Genesis prog rock epic from their Foxtrot album.
The track, penned by Peter Gabriel, weaves together imagery from the Book of Revelation with references to farming, "Winston Churchill dressed in drag" and "the guards of Magog."
Writing in his latest column for The Times, the Clarkson's Farm star went on to quip that he has requested burial in Canada's remote Yukon territory, explaining this choice exists "for no other reason than it's seriously inconvenient."
Jeremy Clarkson hosts Clarkson's Farm
| AMAZONHe added that his longtime co-host James May will receive a cow, with Mr Clarkson reasoning that whatever he leaves him "needs to be something he'd find irritating."
Fellow Grand Tour colleague Richard Hammond has been earmarked to inherit "all my trousers."
The broadcaster's son Finlo, 29, stands to receive his father's gold watch, though with one peculiar stipulation attached.
Mr Clarkson wrote that the timepiece would only pass to his son "if he promised to keep it up his bottom for five years."
Jeremy Clarkson shared 'plans' for his death
| PAVarious acquaintances can expect to find themselves left 20p in the will, ensuring they do not believe he "forgot about them."
The television personality has ruled out both organ donation and cremation, explaining his reasoning stems from theological uncertainty.
"I know I should carry one. It's the right thing to do," he said of a donor card.
He went on to add: "But I've always had a nagging doubt that I might be wrong about God and that if I give my eyes to a motorcyclist and it turns out there is a heaven, I'd be pretty cross with myself."
LATEST DEVELOPMENTS
Jeremy Clarkson (right) runs his own farm in Oxfordshire | AMAZONThe reflections follow his emergency heart surgery at Oxford's John Radcliffe Hospital in late 2024, after which the Oxfordshire-based farmer adopted a healthier diet resulting in noticeable weight loss.
Mr Clarkson's comments emerge against the backdrop of his fierce opposition to the government's Agricultural Property Relief changes, which take effect from April 5.
Under the new rules, landowners passing on farms will face inheritance tax, with a 20 per cent levy applying to agricultural holdings valued above £1 million.
The presenter, who operates the 1,000-acre Diddly Squat Farm in Chadlington, has stated his intention to "hang on until the Labourites have gone" in hopes the policy might be reversed.
He also addressed what should happen if he becomes incapacitated.
"All I can say is that I 'would wish not to be in a vegetative state' and that I would 'prefer it if no heroic efforts' were made to bring me round after a prolonged deprivation of oxygen," he penned.Mr Clarkson suggested adding a clause demanding his life support remain active until Labour departs Downing Street.
Mr Clarkson suggested adding a clause demanding his life support remain active until Labour departs Downing Street.