Gary Barlow has opened up about his battle with bulimia in a new Netflix documentary released today, revealing he spent 13 months as a recluse following the collapse of his solo career.
The Take That frontman, 54, developed an eating disorder during the nineties after being dropped by his record label, sharing never-before-seen photographs from that difficult period in the three-part series.
"There was a period of about 13 months when I didn't leave the house once," Mr Barlow confessed in the documentary.
The singer admitted he was consumed with envy over former bandmate Robbie Williams' flourishing success whilst his own prospects had crumbled.
Gary Barlow in 1990
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"I was incredibly competitive so yeah, I think I was jealous," he acknowledged, explaining how he began questioning what to do with the rest of his life.
Mr Barlow's weight eventually reached 17 stone as he deliberately sought anonymity through overeating, viewing his changing appearance as a way to escape recognition.
"And the more weight I put on the less people would recognise me," he explained.
"I thought 'this is good, this is what I've been waiting for, living a normal life.' So I went on a mission. If the food passed me, I'd just eat it... and I killed the pop star."
Gary Barlow opened up about his weight gain and eating disorder
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The singer described devastating cycles of binge eating followed by intense regret.
"I would have these nights where I'd eat and eat and eat, but however I felt about myself, I felt ten times worse the day after," he recalled.
He then detailed how purging became a destructive habit: "One day I thought, I've been out, it's 10 o'clock, I've eaten too much, I need to get rid of this food. You just go off to a dark corner of the house and just throw up."
The widespread ridicule Mr Barlow faced during this period proved deeply painful, with the singer witnessing all of it firsthand.
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Gary Barlow described devastating cycles of binge eating
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"It was just so excruciating. You just wanted to crawl into a hole," he admitted.
The situation was worsened by Mr Williams publicly mocking his former bandmate, including Mr Barlow confessing he had once called Robbie "Blobby" – something he now regrets.
"I'd called him Blobby instead of Robbie one day - which I hold my hands up, I shouldn't have done," he acknowledged.
Mr Barlow's lowest point came in 2003, when he finally resolved to change his circumstances.
The new Netflix documentary explores Take That's journey to fame and the band's split in the nineties
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The recovery process proved lengthy, with the singer revealing it took a decade to return to the person he wanted to be after spending just a few years spiralling downward.
The documentary reveals how Take That eventually reconciled with Williams after growing concerned about reports of his struggles with alcohol and drugs.
The remaining band members flew to Los Angeles to support their former colleague, with Mr Barlow and Mr Williams finally addressing years of unspoken grievances during a private conversation.
"I had a lot of stuff I wanted to say to Rob. He had a lot of stuff he wanted to say to me. We'd just never done it," Barlow recalled, noting they resolved longstanding issues in roughly 25 minutes.
The 2005 reunion proved transformative for Mr Barlow, who admitted he desperately needed his bandmates after years of isolation.
"Ten years had led to this show. Years of many many dark days. Losing the record label, everyone laughing at you," he reflected.