When I heard the rumour that Sir Sadiq Khan was going to get a peerage, I half-jokingly thought it might be part of Sir Keir Starmer’s resignation honours list.
But the truth of the matter is that our poor Mayor is already making such a dog’s dinner of the tasks on his plate that I think giving him any further responsibilities would just be cruel.
I mean, come on - this is the Mayor who has failed to keep Londoners safe, who has overseen a collapse in the capital’s economy, who continues to squeeze every penny he can out of motorists through ULEZ, and who still doesn’t seem to be able to answer questions about grooming gangs.
If I were interviewing him for the job of “Member of the House of Lords”, I’m not sure there is much on his CV he can say he’s doing well.
Being Mayor of London is not just a ribbon-cutting job, despite what some Mayors may think or hope. It is a job that comes with a £24bn budget and a responsibility to do the best for our city, and all of the people who live in it.
Almost ten years since Sir Sadiq was first elected Mayor, he has shown himself to be barely able to get to grips with the seriousness of the role or indeed the consequences of his mistakes.
This is a man who had to be dragged kicking and screaming to City Hall to answer questions about his plans to close your local police front counter, and who readily sent his league of Deputy Mayors up to take the flak for him. Are these the qualities of a peer of the realm?
The peerage is a way for talented individuals - who have given so much to our country, be it through business, community work, public service, or otherwise - to be able to keep contributing to the way Britain is governed by scrutinising legislation and holding the Government to account.
I think where politicians have led distinguished careers, it makes sense to want to make that sort of talent available to Parliament.
But has Sadiq Khan’s career in London really been that distinguished, when our capital is ostensibly worse than when he took office?
Keir Starmer handing Sadiq Khan a peerage would sound the death knell on the House of Lords - Susan Hall
|Getty Images
The big metric for me is legacy. Ken Livingstone, as Mayor, introduced the ubiquitous Oyster Cards and secured us the 2012 Olympics.
Boris Johnson delivered those Olympics, and gave us Boris Bikes and Boris Buses. Whether it is the Elizabeth Line or the Thames Tideway Tunnel, past Mayors of London have left lasting monuments to their time in office through the improvements they have brought to Londoners. But Sadiq Khan will have no such projects for his successors to cut ribbons on.
All the record will show is a Mayor who jetted around the world lecturing us on climate emissions whilst his city spiralled into lawlessness and economic uncertainty.
The idea that such a saga should merit the ermine cloak and red bench seat in the House of Lords nauseates me, as I know it will many other Londoners.
It’s April - St George’s Day, even - and I am hoping desperately that these rumours are just an elaborate April Fools.
Because I worry about our city too much to think about what would happen if the Mayor were given more responsibilities to focus on, in addition to the ones he already neglects. Please God, let it be a joke.