Mark Dolan: Starmer and Johnson have formed the coalition from hell

I despair of our politics. I honestly don't know who is worse at the moment - the party loving Boris Johnson, king of the Zoom quiz.

Or his right-hand man, the deputy prime minister of this country, Sir Keir Starmer. And in case you are wondering, the leader of the opposition now, is Steve Baker, who is leading a tory rebellion of around 60 MPs against Plan B restrictions, which are damaging and scientifically unproven.

But it’s Boris and Keir in the driving seat. The most terrifying double act since Hale and Pace

Starmer and Johnson are now “the management” and have formed the coalition from hell. With tories rebelling, it’s Bojo’s trusty deputy Keir whose votes will see the legislation pass on Tuesday. Keir could prevent this damage with his votes. No such luck.

How dare Johnson call himself a libertarian, as he rolls out divisive Covid vaccine passports and entertains the idea of a mandated jabs. And how dare he call the Tories the party of business or the economy, with such needless damage inflicted on this country over the last two years.

These Plan B restrictions alone will cost the economy 18 billion quid, and will see more closed businesses and further pain for our hospitality sector and other industries. Keir Starmer is no better, arguably worse.

Starmer would have kept us locked down longer and harder. Look at Labour-run Wales, which has had stricter longer-lasting measures throughout, and the Guido Fawkes website are reporting that First Minister Mark Drakeford wants a Christmas lockdown.

The pious handwringing most Reverend Keir Starmer, a man so holier than thou, he's already got his name pencilled in for a sainthood, has no right to call Labour the party of the working people. When working people and those at the bottom of the economic ladder have suffered the most as a result of Covid measures.

And Sir Keir wants payrises for the public sector and huge spending across all departments, whilst waving through measures which have wrecked the economy, an economy that pays for all of his spending promises.

So the leader of the opposition Steve Baker and a handful of principled Tory MPs will be voting against Plan B restrictions, because they rightly point out that whilst omicron appears to be highly transmissible it also appears to be significantly milder than other incarnations of the virus. Don't take my word for it, here is the South African medic who discovered it, speaking on LBC this weekend.

No evidence Omicron is severe, but we roll out Plan B. No evidence Covid vaccine passports work, but we roll them out. Flaky evidence that masks stop the spread, but we roll them out. Work from home orders, endless testing of healthy people – all scientifically debatable, but we roll them out.

Remember none of these measures are without harm and they all come at a price. This whole nightmare has been brought to you by dumb and dumber, Johnson and Starmer. And by needlessly rolling out Plan B “just in case” is dumber still.

When the colossal health, economic and human toll of these measures becomes clear and when data shows if it hasn't already, that you can't control a virus like Covid and that the measures we’ve seem achieved nothing compared to countries who didn't lockdown, then this will be on the Chuckle Brothers Starmer and Johnson.

To me, to you. They own this nightmare. And there are ramblings on the Tory backbenchers about letters going in to the 1922 committee. Who can blame them? The Prime Minister limps from one self-inflicted disaster to another.

Confusion and obfuscation over who paid for his wallpaper, he may have lied. Confusion and obfuscation over illegal parties last year, he may have lied.

The one thing we know for sure, the Prime Minister's promise that we would sensibly and slowly lift restrictions out of this pandemic are not happening. The Conservative party isn't Conservative anymore and the Prime Minister is shaping up to be the most left-wing leader in this country since Michael Foot.

He’s even got a similar hairdo.

I don’t think I’m exaggerating. We’re now being led by Socialist Tory Prime Minister – Red Boris. No wonder Starmer is his deputy. Half a trillion quid borrowed, an economy wrecked, rising inflation, highest taxes since the 50s.

Sounds pretty left-wing to me. Now I've always credited the prime minister with delivering freedom day on the 19th of July, but if he carries on like this he will soon be enjoying freedom from high office, replaced by someone who leads by the principles of the Tory party – personal responsibility, economy first, low taxes, fiscal prudence, proper policing of our borders and law and order on our street. Boris Johnson is like Lewis Hamilton at the moment,

Who was defeated in the F1 drivers championship earlier today. Boris, like Lewis, has gone from hero to zero this week, except that our prime minister, has had more car crashes.

I want Boris to succeed, he is our elected prime minister – he got Brexit done, the vaccine rollout’s been great and he gave us Freedom day. And it's in all our interests that his government prevails as we navigate our way out of the pandemic.

But right now Boris is absent without leave and has lost the plot. We know he likes going to bed with people, but he shouldn't be going to bed with Kia Starmer. If this new father celebrating the birth of a baby daughter isn’t careful, he'll have a lot more time on his hands to change those dirty nappies.