This country has become an astonishing joke, says Alex Armstrong

Drama teachers

Librarians

Social media influencers

Pilates teachers

Yoga teachers

Garden designers

Cycling instructors

Hairdressing and beauty salon managers

Ironically, careers advisors

Also ironically, Job centre officers

Political canvassers

Here’s where it really starts to sting:

Equality, diversity and inclusion managers

Mystery shoppers

Bingo hall managers

Trolley collectors

Tool makers

This country has become an astonishing joke.

We’ve been lied to, over and over again, by politicians who swear they’re cracking down on migration. “The numbers are coming down,” they say — but somehow, trolley collectors are now classified as skilled migrants.

Let that sink in. Trolley collectors. Skilled workers. Sponsored visas.

Our elected officials are laughing at us. Instead of training or hiring British people, they’re importing foreign labour for jobs any one of us could do — undercutting wages and turning this country into a cheap labour market.

What exactly is the “skill” in pushing trolleys? And while we’re at it — what unique, essential ability do Diversity, Equity and Inclusion managers possess that makes them indispensable to Britain?

It’s insulting.

This list of “skilled” jobs should be a short, focused set of roles we genuinely can’t fill here. But instead, it’s a bloated, bureaucratic farce — packed with everyday, low-wage jobs that millions of Brits are more than capable of doing.

And you watching at home? Your job’s probably on that list too.

I’m sick of being treated like a mug. And you should be too.