Migration Monitor: A rare win for Labour is swiftly shattered after a dramatic turn in the Epping hotel saga

But every storm has a silver lining and the Prime Minister could well be relieved by the long string of zeros in the small boats table released by the Home Office every day.

The high winds and rain mean not a single illegal migrant has successfully crossed from France to Dover in over a week.

In an effort to navigate the turbulence and distract from the record small boats numbers which have dogged the administration, Sir Keir and his Home Secretary, Yvette Cooper, kicked off the new Autumn term in Westminster with a themed 'migration week' featuring a slew of headline-grabbing policy announcements, promising yet another crackdown on illegal migrants.

Monday headlined a curb on refugees bringing family members to the UK, a new independent body to speed up the archaic asylum appeals process and a pledge to send the first 'one in one out' migrants back to France by the end of this month.

Hopefully, according to the Home Secretary. Definitely, according to Downing Street.

Then there was a nod to the never-ending conundrum over asylum hotels.

The Prime Minister seized the initiative and pronounced that they'd be closed "as quickly as possible", but as we all know, some things aren't as possible as quickly as we'd all like them to be.

Especially when it's not quite clear where the alternatives lie. Warehouses? Military camps? Or more likely comfortable flats, leaving those waiting in the council queue even longer for their new homes.

The Tories, who had their own troubles with small boats, took the opportunity to take a swipe at the PM's plans, calling them a "desperate distraction tactic" and bemoaning the cancellation of the Rwanda "deterrent".

Reform UK revealed another of its own deterrents. Why not do a deal with the Taliban to take in deportees from Britain? And throw in the same deal with the Iranian regime to boot?

The party's deputy Richard Tice argued there was 'justification' for the move as it was "in the interests of the British people", even adding: "Sometimes you do deals with people you may not want to go down to the pub with".

I'll leave that one for you to ponder over.

As the rest of the country reluctantly trudged to work for a second day back in the office after the Summer holidays, the Home Office was already in overdrive, sending out early warning of the latest initiative.

Ministers will seek to crack down on foreign students claiming asylum once their visas run out, and they will get a personal message telling them they must leave if they have no right to remain. You might think that's hardly an original idea, but apparently it is now.

And then there's the simmering row over the ECHR (European Convention on Human Rights).

Reform UK have made no secret of their plan to ditch it if Nigel Farage gets into Downing Street.

The idea is that if we leave it, then it'll be easier to avoid endless legal challenges over efforts to deport illegal migrants who don't qualify for asylum.

And possibly some who do. Former Labour Home Secretary Jack Straw pronounced that it would be possible not to compromise the Good Friday Agreement and peace in Northern Ireland by leaving the ECHR, a long-held belief.

By contrast, and under duress, the PM finally announced that he would not agree to leave the Convention under any circumstances.

The Tories followed with their own announcement. Except it turned out there was no announcement, and we'd have to find out their position on the ECHR at the party conference later this month.

Those of you who have been around a while will remember that old chestnut - ID cards - and how they might solve many of the problems over illegal migration and illegal working.

Back in the early 2000s, Sir Tony Blair's Labour Government tried and failed to implement them. And now, in what seems like a moment of déjà vu, this Labour administration is again telling us that new 'digital' ID cards could be the solution.

Even seasoned onlookers don't really understand how it would all work and, as always, the libertarian lobby is crying foul.

As the week wore on and the Prime Minister became consumed in the scandal over Angela Rayner's tax affairs, he must have gained some comfort from knowing that his plan to 'smash the gangs' appeared to be working. Still no Channel migrants.

Turns out the storms were still raging and even the most determined migrant wouldn't risk getting on a rubber dinghy in those conditions.

So as we all know, it really is all about the weather. And as soon as there's a hiatus, there will be a veritable armada heading towards the Kent coast.

All good things must come to an end. At the start of the week, the Government had been on the front foot.

After a big win in the Court of Appeal and a pause on the closure of the Bell Hotel in Epping, followed by the 'new' plans to crack down on illegal migration, it was all looking more positive.

Sir Keir Starmer could finally walk along Downing Street with a spring in his step. But it wasn't to last.

As if right on cue, one of the asylum seekers living at the very same Epping hotel was found guilty of sexually assaulting a 14-year-old.

Those who worry that their wives and daughters are at risk from male boat migrants felt vindicated.

The anti-migrant protesters in the town gathered to celebrate the verdict but also to push for a faster closure of the hotel and a clear-out of its inhabitants.

And once the small boats start massing on our shores again, it'll be déjà vu for a government that seems to wake up to the same nightmare every day.

Please try and stay nightmare-free, and I'll see you again next week, filling in for our esteemed Mark White, who's sunning himself in the Mediterranean, keeping his binoculars close to him just in case some small boats sail over the horizon.